Boundaries for opposite gender friendships reddit. This is how my wife and I both view this scenario.

Boundaries for opposite gender friendships reddit Some of them will help you understand your partner's background and experience with opposite-gender friends while others will help you determine specific boundaries. I impose boundaries on myself so that whoever I am in a relationship with never has any doubt about me. Yes. If someone in a heterosexual relationship doesn’t have the basic maturity to handle their partner having friends of another gender, then they’re going to be a fragile, insecure partner who lacks the emotional maturity to be good for the person they’re with. Not a rule we ever discussed but we discovered we had both set that personal boundary for . I have complete & utter faith and trust in him. A boundary we have in our relationship is if one of us hangs out with a friend of the opposite gender, somebody else should be there as well. Healthy cross gender friendships do exist. One way this is done: when the friend crosses normative relationship boundaries and starts acting like the girlfriend. I can't speak for the opposite gender, but what I've seen with a lot of guys is they'll: become decent friends with women, it doesn't work out, and the friendship fades out, keep women "friends", but where they're more of acquaintances - people they hang out with in a group, but not individually, and/or So men of Reddit do you think it is ok for a female or male have friendships with the opposite sex? Friendships that you talk at most a couple of Reddit iOS Reddit Android Reddit Premium About Reddit Advertise Blog Careers Press. Work up to other boundaries. I don't like not sharing personal issues, because it can really help, as a woman, to have another guy's perspective on the matter at hand rather than a woman, because oftentimes, the same gender will more likely side with you rather than actually help the situation that the opposite Sorry they couldn't be bothered to respect boundaries. He made the decision a long time ago to not be alone for a prolonged time with a woman. Also, we have both agreed to the same boundary lines. : lots of people don’t respect boundaries and female friends constantly want to remove themselves from group chats with wives and just talk to married male friend alone. Is it always 100% of the time haram to have opposite sex friends? I’m in college and I only have 2 female friends and no other friends at all as I’m a very solitary Also, ALL relationships should have boundaries, including friendships. But with maturity and mutual respect those things can be overcome. We did discuss it. Now I see what you were saying. Boundaries for opposite gender friendships while in a relationship. That decision happened in a previous relationship & I quite frankly think it’s silly. I'm a Taiwanese student studying abroad and noticed that my Indian friend's friend groups are very comfortable with male/female boundaries. They still do. Opposite but I just need to ask if this is a thing: To chill with a friend of the opposite gender Like eat something and watch some movies but I do not see them often. (Poor bisexuals, no friends for them! Most people think "i wouldn't cheat", when it should be more like, stay away from what could lead to cheating and establish healthy boundaries for your marriage. It is a trait of toxic masculinity and heterosexual norms that can be traced back through history. Even Shirley Glass relied on traditional gender based roles and I liked her book, saw it as an overall guide to boundaries keeping in mind it was published in 2002. Neither of us really care much to make opposite sex friends and we both have large friend groups of mostly married couples we’re both friend with. Going forward in life, while I anticipate staying friends with all the men I am currently friends with, I doubt I'll make any new friendships. A friendship with benefits for example is certainly haram but I could think of many friendships that I don’t think would be. The concern on my end is more this other man struggling with boundaries than it causing a rift in your relationship. Typically there is a current attraction there and 38 votes, 27 comments. Sometimes, a coworker friend and I will get lunch solo. Terms & Policies Last year I re-evaluated the so-called friendships I had in my life and I made the decision to demote them to acquaintances rather than friends for View community ranking In the Top 5% of largest communities on Reddit. Sounds like you voiced your boundaries and his relationship with her was more valuable to him than respecting those boundaries. Sort by: Best. Same sex platonic friendships are not the same as opposite sex platonic friendships when you're in a relationship. Especially if you are in a relationship they really bombard you with that. Same, also like 70% of my guy friends addmited they had a crush on me. I get that opposite gender friendships disturb our partners, but the way I see it, friendships are long term. I think this sub's turnaround for OP was the fact that she'd stated this boundary before the relationship started and he agreed to it. But it is really easy for straight men and women to develop friendships that aren't supportive of an outside romantic relationship. Did you have many friends who were guys/girls growing up? Set boundaries for communicating with your opposite-sex friends. More so friendships when that person is into you. Rule #2 – Better safe than sorry Rule #3 – Consider your spouse Rule #4 – Develop friendships with people of your same gender. From my perspective, I have great friends (the opposite sex) and we hang out 2gether quite often and sometimes just 2 of us, we are both in relationships and we respect that so much, also never had feelings for each other and it perfectly works. If you date the opposite gender, Now I'm not saying that opposite-sex friendships are things which "perish with the using", Some people have issues establishing basic boundaries, so if you or your opposite gender friend struggle with that then you will need to dial back on the amount of interaction to more appropriate levels ‍You may want "stronger" boundaries if: either of you has had boundary issues with friends of the opposite gender in the past, either of you struggles with pornography, either of you has been untruthful or secretive about previous Other people are way more low-key about opposite-sex friendships and that’s cool. But I think people who intentionally avoid making friends with the opposite gender are weird. Don't flirt with people in front of me. The time and effort put into cultivating friendships with members of the opposite sex (outside of professional relationships) could be spent on the marriage. If your boundaries are good, having a significant other shouldn't change your friendship much if it all. true Skip to main content. I think you lose an aspect to your character when people do that. These are extremely tame boundaries and should be easy for a friend to respect. if I'm texting a male friend and the conversation starts going in a direction that I would feel guilty if my bf were I don't think you can set boundaries in this situation, considering you subconsciously have more than just friend interest towards her. That progression will be - opposite gender, larger age gaps, new location, different culture, different country, etc. But, like, you definitely can, no matter what the scholars say. It's just common sense. Not sure why you equate "friends of the opposite gender" with orbiters from apps as you can meet people in plenty of places and contexts other than OLD. I naturally drifted from my mixed gender friend groups, and honestly looking back I'm glad we both we did so without being demanded to. With male female friendships, any Here are six ways to know whether opposite sex friends could be damaging your intimate relationship. Genuinely friendships with the opposite sex are less common here as they’re practically discouraged at school and by college/employment socialising like that is used near exclusively to find someone to date. Please keep your friendships. Blame biology or gender politics, or just accept it. I really atruffle with this conversation because of experience. By confirming verbally that the friendship is purely platonic and “just friends”, it means that you both start off on the same page, and there is no room for Imo, friendships with the opposite gender can be a thing & you might simply just not feel attracted to them ever. Try to involve your spouse in all non-work meetings with the opposite gender and avoid one-on-one non-work meetups (with the opposite gender). I'm (26M) dating someone (22F), and a frequent source of tension and conflict is what the appropriate boundaries are with opposite gender friendships / social interactions. Why is friendship with the opposite gender considered haram by so many which would end up violating the boundaries of what is halal (permitted) and approaching the boundaries Friendships with the opposite gender is haram no doubt but even if you were friends with the oppostie gender 99% of people don't do the things I listed above Yes you can but you have to make sure that that guy or girl respect the boundaries or your partner if you have one. But it has nothing to do with gender. We're horny and have low self-esteem so the second anyone gives us a little more attention than usual we feel special and loved, that's why haram relationships happen, and that's why in Islam opposite gender friendships are haram. Tbh I only watch the award shows to see how idols interact with each other lol. That’s all I can think of, since they are, in fact, platonic/not a threat. I really don't know. We got into an argument about it and I mentioned that in serious relationships and marriage, friendships of the opposite gender dynamics and boundaries are different, and I don't think hanging out a bunch with an opposite gender friend can be healthy because it may open up doors to emotional intimacy and eventually infidelity. To put it in context, I work in a male dominated field. Of course, there are some details that may differ depending on the situation, but in simple I put this way: No opposite gender friend. They often outlast romantic relationships. I agree this sub usually - for either gender - supports inappropriate relationships with friends. He's gone out to do things occasionally with a couple of his female friends. Of course "it all depends", yeah that's true, it's not black and white, I'm just saying the probability of the aforementioned problems occurring increases. Posted by u/ThatEmoSprite - 12 votes and 7 comments Let your partner know that it does bother you and he needs to respect that. I don’t know the whole situation of I'm a woman. I believe that society and culture today has really played a fucked up part in this “rule” that opposite gender friends aren’t needed or allowed. I could elaborate more if you want to (boundaries, manner, wisdom, etc). This subreddit is for discussion on Muslims getting married and staying (happily) married. Your partner is insecure, and there's a few ways to handle the situation. I trust her and she trusts me. If there’s no opposite sex friends, there’s less chance of and fewer opportunities to make a regretful choice. When being friends with someone of the opposite sex, it is best to be clear Most of my close female friends I have known much longer than my wife, and I do not treat them any different than my male friends. Hanging out with the opposite gender is not a red flag but he is waving his giant red flag in front of your face. . That kind of thing. That's understood on both sides. there are literally Oh, OK. I have a few completely platonic guy friends as a woman in my early 20s. not as a United front with wife . ---Of course, setting mutually agreed upon boundaries is the key, and it is never healthy to try and control your partner. Many will argue you can't have friends of the opposite sex, I'm pansexual. You go out with this woman, you talk to her, you clearly like her. PS: I never got cheated on so don't come at me saying I'm hurt or something. Do any other married mormons find it challenging to navigate friendships with those of the opposite gender? So I totally know what you mean about having difficulty navigating relationships with the opposite gender Here’s another two cents: I feel like if you’ve never tested and defined your personal boundaries around the opposite No two friendships are alike so my opinion is that the permissibility and appropriateness really depend on the boundaries that are being set in the friendship and if both parties stay within the boundaries. I never communicate it with the third party and never step over the boundary of platonic to romantic actions or conversation. Boundaries are great. We disagree with how to handle opposite sex friendships. Sexualizing the opposite gender to the extent that you’re even bothered by being friends with them is so pervasive and teaches people to see any hint of an opposite gender as an excuse for sexual misconduct. Her belief is that when you’re in a relationship, other friendships should dwindle. only the verse about "lowering your gaze" and women to "draw a veil over their bosom". Boundaries are great, but they should be reasonable. Pure delight in friendship, nothing sexual. But none are super-emotionally close friendships. Personally, I really like the idea that I don’t do or say things I wouldn’t say around my partner, and that’s regardless of gender or sex. Empathy and compassion happen naturally as you spend time with other people that are different than you. We've never needed to have a conversation about what's appropriate behavior with opposite sex friends. that’s why I believe it’s haram to have friends of the opposite gender especially once you’re married as it’s an emotional investment, and your If your friends with the opposite gender what are the boundaries or like what are the extents of a friendship General Discussion Reason I’m asking this is because I’m friends with a girl and she’s been trying to get close while I’m trying to maintain a friendship with her. But I would not go out of my way to make friends with the opposite gender. Or that they can't read your journal. For myself and my relationship, I’m totally fine with established friendships. The queer community doesn't typically have this problem because people typically (heavy emphasis there) prefer socialising with people of like-gender. most people here don't leave one comment and then not engage with you, they would almost have a conversation on the comments. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. Especially when they're from the opposite gender (and I'm not talking about shipping!!!!) I think all of the idol friendships are so precious. Ugh. Re-evaluating friendships & setting boundaries . Those feelings disappear as fast as they appear. Anecdotally, my wife are more “permissive” with these boundaries than other couples on here. I think it’s healthy to have 1-2 friends of the opposite gender who aren’t your boyfriend/girlfriend tbh. I mean, I think mutual respect and being friends with you and your significant other is important. I have friends who are women and keep my boundaries. Skyping with a friend of either gender when you can't sleep and your partner is asleep is no big deal to me. When being friends with someone of the opposite sex, it is best to be clear and firm from the very start as to the basis or status of the friendship. Saying he doesn’t buy it is him calling you a liar and possibly gaslighting. I honestly believe that opposite gender friendships should just be with a lot of boundaries and a lot of people don't have boundaries. It requires a lot of social readjustments to ensure you're both having the same conversation and expectations, otherwise they snowball into major miscalucations later on I'm not talking about reasonable boundaries. If I’m wrong, then I’m wrong, but setting boundaries such as no friends of the opposite gender seems silly to me. It's absolutely acceptable, possible, and easy to have very good, platonic friends of the opposite sex. The only actual "rule" me and my partner have for each other, is if we start to feel like there are aspects of our friendships with members of the opposite sex that have us feeling unsure or guilty, we should either bring it up and talk about it with one another or stop. No there's nothing wrong. We’ve each got a ton of opposite-sex friends ourselves. If you are BOTH friends with someone, that's fine and great. I would never stop my girlfriend, and have never stopped anyone I’ve dated, from their platonic male friendships. Opposite sex friends which predate the marriage and aren’t an Ex and never slept together are ok but there should be boundaries. That's not that problem, the problem is weak boundaries, insecurities, and My comment wasn't to cast issue on having friends of the opposite gender. Is it Always Haram to have Opposite gender Friends in Islam? I have recently become interested in Islam and wish to learn more about it but, I have a very important question. But a new one-on-one friendship with I'm dumb, teenagers (myself included) ARE dumb. Perfectly fine with a same-sex friend, unacceptable at a opposite-sex friend's. I’m wondering what your personal I don't like the going the nuclear option and just cutting all friendships of the opposite sex off. Your partner has not. Not that I expect you to believe a complete stranger, but I'm on the opposite, gender flipped version of that. He is being manipulative and doesn’t trust you. Not every woman, just those I was closest to, including one I thought of as a sister. Don't cross any boundaries in your communication/texts. They were definitely more shallow friendships. Share . and a verse about talking to the prophet's wives from behind a screen. Andrew believes that we should not hang out with the opposite sex alone (excluding like, necessary work meetings or lunches). Or that they can't get drunk more than 3 times a month. I honestly do not see this as respectful. When I was a kid I had a little trouble with the boundaries between friends and fuckbuddies and relationships - hormones and all that, I dated 2 good highschool friends and it ruined both friendships in the end. (I personally don't agree with this, but I understand that some people view same-sex friendships with suspicion. No, this is not the first group of friends I've ever met, but this is the first where he's having friendships with women. The scholars seem really hell-bent on not letting people of opposite genders be friends, but to do so they have to ignore that Arab society didn't seem to have such rigid gender segregation before or after the advent of Islam. Yes, boundaries are in place, no late night texting, flirting, being alone, or discussing issues in my current romantic relationship. Rules can be boundaries. Even though you might set boundaries, I think moving forward with this friendship is going to lead to feelings even if you don't want them. My husband and I have differing opinions on boundaries regarding our opposite-sex friendships. If you google "Quran verse men and women interaction", you will find no quran verse forbidding it. Have coffee or lunch or dinner with whomever we want. And queer people are, y'know, queer, they generally like to have sex with people of like-gender as well. There's literally no reason for a married person to have a single friend of the opposite gender as a friend they hang out with, you don't even know what other people's intentions are To preface:---Please read the entire post before you comment, many of the points mentioned in the comments have already been addressed in the post. As for your question, we have boundaries for As you say, I could sense which of those relationships were potentially problematic and they ended up being so. Also, since you're dealing with the opposite gender, you will experience random bouts of certain feelings for random people. What is this, some medieval satrapy where the women are cloistered away and guarded by eunuchs? Seriously? If anything it’s more common to have these boundaries in Japan. Neither of us really maintains opposite sex friendships that aren’t friends to both of us. I think you'll look back at this and see what a massive bullet you dodged. Many, many people think that people of the opposite gender can't be friends and it has been taught as a cultural tradition. Here, it may be something like declining the invitation and staying in. I find it's really hard to have a deep, meaningful friendship with other guys. I’ve also watched as almost every one of those platonic friendships went south because dude wanted more than being friends ultimately. People who struggle with the idea of opposite gender friendships are telling on themselves, are projecting. I texted both of my male friends to let them know about the boundaries I wanted to set with them. I knew guys who had no problems making friends with other guys, but would clam right up and act weird when it came to meeting girls. Just sucks that we have to stick to a specific gender, I think it should be more along the lines of being able to match friends if the other person is also interested in matching as friends with the opposite gender. Just accept that it's a natural part of dealing with the opposite gender, but never act on it. Make the “just friends” status of your relationship clear from day 1. I think having platonic friendships with members of the opposite sex is insightful and wonderful. But they require emotional intelligence, good communication, and healthy boundaries. I'm a bi person, so, no gender is safe from me and if I didn't exercise self-control I'd have no friends. Opposite gender friendships, a red flag? Ladies how do you feel about boundaries in opposite sex friendships, particularly for your partner? we are a-ok with having platonic friendships with the opposite gender. Archived post. It's key to talk openly about emotional intimacy, trust, respect, and romantic boundaries. One of them took it very well and respected my decision. She's got to have some trust in you or this will get toxic fast. I question whether he’ll feel restricted or like I suspect something, and am always eyeballing him, if I What many on reddit don't want to admit is having friends of the opposite gender greatly increases the risk of romantic tension and in an extreme case, cheating. These boundaries should be applied not just to face-to-face settings, but of equal importance, to social media (e. r/FriendshipAdvice A chip A chip So I’ve only had one creepy shit fuck! But it was the worst! Which is why I doubly learned my Lesson about enforcing my boundaries! Platonic friendships work, so long as the boundaries are Extremely Clear! Good men will understand that, and respect their female friends’ boundaries, regardless of whether they’d Fuck ‘em, or not! Always discussing that would feel controlling to him, too. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I hate it. That’s the problem. If you had no opposite gender friends pre-trans how do you navigate boundaries for friends as post-trans Just something I’m noticing. So, for me, that means keeping the physical touch to hugs, for example. So it’s just best for us to not have friends of the opposite gender on social media, unless it’s family. Also, I love how you said that people that are genuinely committed to each other aren’t seeking friendships with the opposite gender unless you are both friends with them. When talking about men and women friendships it is usually (but not always) the man who is more dedicated. I have close friends of the opposite gender without screaming anything by being queer, basically. I can’t get a read on him. The logic being that the more signifiers of ‘not one of you’ that are blatant and obvious because of gender or age or ethnicity or language - the easier it will be to coast on others generosity and willingness to forgive ‘foreigners’. We want to have our friendship and can do that without making it uncomfortable with love interests involved. We are heterosexuals and our attraction will be opposite genders. That also of course. My opposite gender friends were all met on discord lol, and they're still with me. So I know from personal experience it is best not to become too emotionally involved with friends of the opposite gender that you are not dating. For example I wouldn't go out drinking late at night alone with a single female friend and I wouldn't be happy if my wife suddenly started doing that with another man. I don't necessarily think that friendships with the opposite gender are inappropriate but I place different boundaries around them than I do with people of the same gender. You should include your husband in gatherings with men and their wives (and likewise he should include you in his gatherings with his female friends and their husbands). The other one, well, not so much. Especially after being granted your trust. Advice on mixed gender friendships I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older that the number of guy friends I’ve had has gotten to be less and less. ) Platonic friendships : r/MuslimMarriage - Reddit true I've had platonic friendships too but those are the ones where I've put up more boundaries and didn't allow the guys to get too close. For example that your partner can't speak poorly of your family unless being asked for an opinion. I personally wouldn’t deal with that type of behavior, but those are my boundaries. Opposite gender friendships are not for everyone, nor is everyone necessarily capable of keeping personal boundaries. this is why I don’t bother with opposite sex friendships I’m literally just wondering if asking your friends if the opposite gender if they’re a sub or Dom is normal, any opinions would be nice. I feel like these types of posts asking about platonic relationships between genders often get crickets on Reddit because so many guys just don't see the benefit of being friends with girls, (and guys are the majority of users on Reddit) and girls do see the benefit with being friends with guys but haven't been able to make friendships work long term. Don't be the person who gets fucked over and then has to learn from their mistakes. I was fine with my husband having female friends for the same reasons, until we started having issues in our marriage and he went to THEM to discuss our marital issues, which is when I decided that these friendships need to stop. I get it, I want to meet friends of the other gender but I guess i can see where they are coming from. Members Online [deleted] ADMIN MOD . It literally creates its own problem. What you describe is not something I would allow for if it made you uncomfortable. so I think it's okay to talk to the opposite gender just maintain your 1. This helps avoid jealousy and keeps your main relationship strong. Just remember, your boundaries are FOR YOU, not AGAINST anyone else. I do not forbid my partner, nor does he forbid me from hanging out with people of the opposite sex. I completely agree with you. But for now, I would just say: it's not wrong. I would like to clarify that you should be friends with the opposite sex if you're in a serious relationship, there should be a lot of boundaries for sure. I don't assume that every future partner will behave the same way so I don't find opposite sex friendships to be problematic. And we generally avoid being alone with the opposite sex. New opposite sex friends after you are married are very risky and should be avoided. Boys can be friends with girls, the opposite is also true. Sit down with him and talk to him about boundaries when it comes to friends for both opposite gender and in general. But IMO there are boundaries. While in a relationship different boundaries should be set. Opposite sex friendships aren't the issue, dishonest cheaters are the issue. tl;dr : my friend of the opposite gender asked me if I was a sub or Dom and I have no idea if that’s a normal thing between friends I believe that opposite gender could be friends but it really depends cuz sometimes people don't understand boundaries I don't have any male friends except for my bf and even when I'm trying to make genuine friends online most of the guys they'll immideatly stop talking bcz I'm in a relationship or that they just somehow don't understand that I They’re hard enough to come by as it is. Recently my girlfriend and I had a huge argument about something Don't ask Reddit this, a large amount of them think you can't be friends with the opposite gender or the gender you're interested in, or that being platonic friends with someone of the gender you're interested in means you'll cheat or that you're committing some kind of betrayal already. I mean u should have boundaries if u are in a relationship. IE, I a have a boundary that I don’t make plans with people who always cancel last minute. I have only found hadith. But I guess it also depends on the individuals involved and their ability to self-control or set boundaries. Alhamdullilah we both don't have to over-think any relationships with the opposite gender or talk about boundaries with friends of the opposite gender, because it can get weird and messy. It is a trigger that totally destroys me. Now as a married woman I prefer not to make new friendships with the My best friend is of the opposite gender. It can be due to many different things; personality, the way they talk, life goals, the way they look, etc etc. They'd go to each other apartments, have each other keys, borrow each others beds (for naps) and In almost every relationship (friendly or romantic) there's one person who's more into it than another. <3 Opposite-gender friendships My [21f] boyfriend [21m] of two years has been spending a lot of time with a female friend [20f] and their group, doing various activities together, compromising our quality time. We are taught over and over again to divide ourselves based on binary gender and to distrust people of the other genders. We can talk to whomever we want. Not every realtionship between people of different genders, even if straight, is romantic or hadd View community ranking In the Top 5% of largest communities on Reddit. Anyone who says otherwise probably has extremely archaic views about gender, gender roles, and gender equality (yes, even if they believe themselves to be fairly progressive people). While what you've currently stated may be your intention, even the title of this post excludes those in positions of non-traditional sexuality. Other than the ones I’ve just drifted away from over time, a lot of the friendships have ended because I rejected their advances to When I know someone is in a relationship or I am in a relationship, I don't go out of my way to tease them/any friends of the opposite gender, no physical touch except the occasional side-hug, and in general I don't rant to them/any friends of opposite gender about things, I have my partner for that and I have other friends to talk to. Understand that if a partner comes along, your friendship might change or even finish. For the guys and girls that are mature enough to make it work, any friendship, cross-gender or not, is far too valuable to set aside for the “sake of a marriage”. But friends shouldn’t be paused or disposed of like garbage. Human communication is an extremely messy field. This is how my wife and I both view this scenario. It's just so pure to see them support each eat other. Context: My (26 f) boyfriend (28 m) of 7 months was in an hospital for several weeks, befriended a girl (that he never saw before), mentioned her only once to me (not telling me they were the same age, gave the impression that he only hangs Personally, it is great to have opposite gender friends because they add to my life in ways other men don't. Specially, I struggle with the idea that setting a boundary around a friend of the opposite gender has more to do with me and my insecurity than what is and is not appropriate. Why is this surprising or even relevant to Muslims? From the perspective of the nonMuslims who were surveyed: if you see nothing wrong with being intimate with someone before marriage, why wouldn't you take advantage of something more developing out of a My main problem with treating same-sex friendships the same as opposite-sex friendships is that there is simply more chances for it to go wrong. 12 boundaries (or rules) that are needed in a male-female friendship: 1. She says he is her best friend (new revelation to me). He might be okay with opposite gender friends but unless there are boundaries, these friendships can create insecurities and trust issues. I know my wife tl;dr Essentially, what is your stance on opposite gender friendships? How do you set the boundaries with your spouse? What do you do when you can’t agree on what’s appropriate? The cultural tendency to discourage opposite-gendered friendships out of fear of infidelity is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You can abide by his boundaries or challenge them. But unnecessary insecurity due to the opposite gender and the pressure of that falling on women instead of the guy who is in a relationship is weird . AMAB, now questioning I am genderfluid or potentially just transgender woman. There are scholars who think you can, but they're few and far between. Such as, don't make out or fuck other people. It not only depicts the depraved view we have of the opposite gender, but is downright dangerous if this is what we’re teaching the youth. I’m not going to deny that sometimes difficult situations and weird dynamics arise if someone develops feelings. I have found no such Quran verse forbidding opposite gender friendships. And I’m not saying my husband and I are particularly strict about the issue. So any female that can be my friend must be a really close and good friend to her. Next is to honor your boundary. My (42f) partner (38m) has a lot of friends and many of Some avoid opposite gender friendships altogether with the intention that in a friendship between a guy and girl, one is bound to develop "feelings" for the Ok, if you ever read my posts I have huge fear from my bf having female friends. if it's haram to talk to the opposite gender then this whole subreddit haram also, since it's males and females TALKING with each others in the comments and possible DMs. This jealousy thing rarely turns out well from what I have seen. I would be happy to get any ideas, suggestions of how to cope and Don’t get physical with your guy friends. I’m a 26 m, 24f is not happy that most of my friends (5-6) are females that I’m really close to. We are running into a challenge though. g. Don’t form inappropriate opposite-sex friendships. It was my motivation for writing my comment. My boundary for myself is that if I catch feelings for a third party I communicate that with my partner. Eg. Hi there! I’m not going to share my opinion on it at all because I’m specifically looking to hear from other people. Most of my closest friends have been women. They are friends but their friendships aren’t single peoples type of friendships. Open comment sort options It is however problematic when the feelings get so bad that a healthy friendship is no longer possible. If you have to set traps, you're probably with the wrong person. It's only been like 1 1/4 years, so we've got a long way to go, and I'm sure there's going to be hardships between us at some point. It's easier to accept than deny the emotions, just make sure to have boundaries. I believe you can stay friends with the opposite gender but as soon as one person is in a relationship there need to be boundaries. I just LOVE to see idols interact with each other. I would argue that a good marriage is supported by positive, close friendships, and opposite gender friendships can be a part of that, too. Simply more chances for something to go wrong IMO. If your boundary is don't hang out with an opposite gender person because I don't trust you to not cheat, I'd question your relationship hard. We usually talk or message on the phone but there is a healthy boundary First step is to acknowledge that feeling for yourself. Going to drink + stay over alone at someone's house. But I have had a lot of success with opposite sex hetero/bisexual friendships where there are two attractive people who are attracted to people of their friend's gender, but maintaining boundaries isn't impossible at all. Unless there's a reason to, just put up some boundaries. But there need to be clearer and harder boundaries set than in same-gender friendships. Every situation is different. They had boundaries and respect. We're not really involved in one another's friendships (unless they're larger group outings) at all so I'm not sure how I'd say we manage the friendships. Thats something he never did before because he told me in the begging of our relationship that people of the opposite gender can't be just friends. If people of the opposite gender are not "allowed" by their partners to hang out as friends, then the only time they DO hang out is if they actually ARE cheating, which perpetuates the impression that it would happen every time. I've always had better friendships with dudes. But the consensus was, an inclusive Reddit community where people can ask question to and discuss topics with women over the age of 30. I would expect my partner to not allow women to flirt with them like that, and I am cautious of male-female friendships, even though there are exceptions. Socially, it is a good idea to be exposed to your opposite in order to learn and grow, you'll just be a better well rounded human. In my opinion, it is not appropriate to engage in regular one-on-one activities with an opposite-sex friend, such as having lunch, traveling in a car together, or working together alone overtime. I’m open to opposite sex friendships especially when they precede our relationship as in this case. All of our opposite gender friends are people we met in childhood or during university or graduate school, all contexts where it is very common and natural for opposite gender friendships to occur. Keeping opposite sex friendships healthy while in a relationship needs clear rules. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. It's a shame because ENFJs bring so much love to this world and it is such a shame and many of you avoid opposite gender friendships just because a Think of it in a traditionally Somali way all of our parents knew how to maintain good boundaries with the opposite sex, even when married. You have maintained appropriate boundaries. Rule #1 – Avoid close friendships with people of the opposite gender. pcjmhxi graw iifvr pdy qblyqhn mqyxtu toaqt qtq vply qlyxv